Finding a spouse for a son or daughter is one of the biggest responsibilities of a parent’s life. It used to happen through relatives, neighbours and matchmakers. Now many proposals come online, and children want their own say. This guide is about how a guardian can stand beside them in these changing times — keeping dignity, responsibility and the child’s consent intact.
The guardian’s role: support, not imposition
In Islam the guardian’s role in marriage matters, and so does the consent of the bride and groom. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that a previously unmarried woman is not to be married without her permission (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). So the guardian’s work is to search, verify and advise — and to take the final consent from the child.
Step 1: an open conversation with your child
Before you start, sit with your child and learn:
- What religious environment they want in a spouse
- Their expectations about education, work and age
- Where they want to live after marriage — in Bangladesh, abroad, which city
- Which things are non-negotiable, and where they can be flexible
Without this talk, the proposals a guardian brings may not fit the child, and a needless distance grows between you.
Step 2: a good bio-data
A family’s introduction arrives first as a bio-data. See Marriage bio-data format and What to write — and not write — in a bio-data. On a daughter’s bio-data, give your number, not hers.
Step 3: choose where to search
| Route | Strength | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| Relatives and acquaintances | The family is already known | A small circle; hard to say “no” out of courtesy |
| Matchmaker or marriage media | Experience, many proposals | Check the organisation before paying anything in advance |
| Online platform | A far wider circle, search with filters | Check for verified profiles and privacy controls |
Step 4: verify a proposal
- Talk to the family — by phone, then in person.
- Ask locally — through the local mosque’s imam, neighbours or acquaintances, about character and family.
- Check the work claims — whether the job or business is real.
- Be careful when money comes up — asking for money before marriage, for any reason, is a sign of fraud. See 10 ways to spot a fake profile.
Step 5: the prospects meet and talk
After the first checks, arrange a conversation between them — with you present or with your permission. The key questions are in 20 questions to ask before marriage. Afterwards, listen to your child; if they say “no”, don’t force it.
Step 6: the decision
- Put religion and character first (see What is kufu)
- Talk openly between the families about mahr and the wedding — dowry is illegal
- Pray istikhara and ask Allah for what is good
Staying involved online
In many families the child runs their own profile in an app, and the parents want to stay close. Halal Nikah is built for both:
- Join as a guardian: when your child sends an invitation to your phone, you follow their search from your own account.
- Suggest profiles: find profiles yourself and send them to your child — they wait in their feed.
- Give your view on proposals: advise on marriage proposals your child receives.
- Your child’s privacy stays intact: as a guardian you do not see your child’s phone number or private photos — the decision and consent remain theirs.
- Run your child’s profile from your account: parents can also manage a son’s or daughter’s profile from their own account (from the Gold package).
See every guardian feature in For guardians.